Ok, so this post is totally for me and no one else will care...

So you can quit reading now.

I am just about to lose it at work. I thought this new project could be a great opportunity for me...and let's face it, it always helps to have friends in high places in a big corporation like I work for. But dear lord. I am trying to work 2 jobs pretty much...and since my "real" job is VERY results oriented, it is suffering and I am very stressed out about that. Yes, my boss is understanding, however it will affect (IE, LOWER) my bonus if my #s aren't where they need to be, and dangit, I don't want that to be affected. Not to mention being told on a daily basis "we need this amount of production for this program to be successful"...and now with my project they are throwing a bunch of crap at us last minute...stuff that we were not told up front and is difficult to handle when you have 2 little kids and a DH that is not overly gracious in helping with them; that thinks when it's 5:00, work's over. and my job is NOT like that anymore. I know it may seem easy...back out of the project, but i CAN'T for 3 months. I committed myself for at least that long. I think if I'm still this stressed and miserable I will quit that part after 3 months, but I HAVE to stay that long. I've been trying to take a vacation mental health day and can't b/c of all the suff I have to do. My house is a disaster, we eat fast food every night, and basically I'm a total B to my DH.

Normally I enjoy my job. I am happy that I make a good living; truthfully have no desire to be a SAHM (please don't slam me on that; I love my kids, but have always wanted a career, and trust me, if you knew my sitter you'd know they are in way better hands with her than me)...and I normally thrive on stress....but these last 2 weeks have been overwhelming and I feel like just the tippy tip of my nose is above water and sometimes not even that. And it's not just me....the other gals on this project feel the same way; and basically we're all stuck and totally regret our decision, but whatcha gonna do about it?

And yet. I have found time to squeeze in some scrapping and a rather lengthy blog post that probably no one will read anyway, but that's ok, because like i said at the beginning, this one's totally a vent for me and you weren't susposed to read this far anywho.